City Hall twits!

Paano magtwit ang Dimacuha political dynasty?  Here's the latest bisto from the city hall tweeeetss!

EBD_Official:
Ilang tulog na lang, mag concede na ko at replacement candidate si misis, malapit na december 8. hayyz. pagod na! Mahirap din ang dialysis makalwahan at sukang suka na ko sa maintenance drugs para sa heart ko eh,  pero kakayanin. pati lovelife ko apektado. Tagal ko na di nakikita si April ah! #kabit problems

MsRDimacuha:
@EBD Official: Don’t worry Daddy, hold on ka lang, konti na lang, mag aanounce na tayo na talagang you’re soooo very sick kaya uurong ka na at si Mommy na ulit tatakno for mayor para retainang ating political dynasty.  Basta don’t forget to cry and paawa effect, kasi kailangang maawa sa yo ang mga taumbayan at palalabasin natin na kahit malapit ka nang mamatay eh gusto mo pa ring maging lingkod bayad, este lingkodbayan! #politics are us!

TheRealVAD:

@MsRDimacuha: Hoy RD, wag mo naman masyado ipangalandakan na mamamatay na ang daddy mo. Alam mo naman ang masamang damo! #never vegetarian

EBD_Official:

BadingDimacuha:  At ano naman ang gusto mong ipahiwatig dyan? Pasalamat ka hinahayaan kita sa multiple boyfriends mo na puro mga teenagers! Eh ako nga tagal na di nakikita si April pero wala kayo narinig sa kin! @MsRDimacuha, di pa ko mamamatay! Kita mo naman mamahaling doctors at gamot ang gamit ko! #near death but no

MsRDimacuha:
@EBD Official: No daddyl, what I mean is dapat mag-acting ka na malapit ka nang mamatay at inihahabilin mo si Mommy sa batangas city voters para maawa sila sa yo! Malay ba nila kung nagsisinungaling ka o hindi.  Pero pag buhay ka pa habang dinadaya natin ang results ng election, idedeclare natin na nagmilagro ang Dyos, kaya buhay ka pa at nanalo ulit si Mommy. @ TheRealVAD, alam naman natin ang meaning ng masamang damo, kaya wait and see na lang kung hanggang saan tatagal si daddy. #amalayer

TheRealVAD:

@EBD Official: Naku wag na wag mo nga ako sumbatan sa mga boyfriends ko! At least yung mga yun eh virgin pa nung makuha ko, di tulad ng April mo na laspag na nung ibahay mo! @MsRDimacuha parang excited na ko pag may burol sa bahay ano? #wants to be byuda

EBD_Official: EHEM!

BadingDimacuha:  Di nyo pansin follower nyo ko? Kanina ko pa kayo follow! Bwahahaha! #nagmamasid

TheRealVAD:

@BadingDimacuha: Aba online ka pala? San ka ngayon? Ang tagal mong nawala ah! Parang alam ko na kung sino ka. Teka pacheck ko ang records ng mga bakla dito na matagal nagleave. #call personnel

BadingDimacuha: 

@ TheRealVAD:  Ayyyy naku wala sa records yan! Kanina pa naayos record ko! Ako pa ba naman ang maiisahan, eh ako rin ang pinagagawa nyo ng dirty jobs nyo!!!  Kmusta na nga pala yung co-employee ko na di napromote dahil ipinamalengke ang kabit ni EBD? Ayyy! Hot na chizmax! #lovepio

TheRealVAD:

@BadingDimacuha: Heh!  Tumigil ka dyan! Kaya yundi napromote ay dahil namalengke sa office hours

BadingDimacuha: 

@ TheRealVAD:  Eh ang tanong: namalengke para kaninong kabit? Hehehehe

MsRDimacuha:
@BadingDimacuha: Hoy sobra ka na! Ako ang nagsisante dun kasi pati yung pera pinamalengke eh pondo ng opisina!  @ TheRealVAD:  Mommy don’t worry I can handle this! #as always

BadingDimacuha: 

@MsRDimacuha: oh oh lagi namang you can handle everything RD eh, kahit yung di mo dapat handle.  Kmusta na nga pala yung P9o million n akomisyon mo sa KEILCO? Nakabili ka na naman ba ng mga bagong bf? Nabilhan mo na rin ba sila ng bagong house and car? Swerte naman ng mga bf mo, sa kanila napupunta ang pera ng bayan ano? #bf issues

EBD_Official: EHEM!  @BadingDimacuha eh ano naman kung may komisyon si RD?  What is he in power for?  Kaya nga nariyan para magpayaman eh! Ang problema lang, di naman yan nagshe-share! Kanya lang lahat ang pera! # money addict

BadingDimacuha:  Ayyy laglagan blues na!

MsRDimacuha:
@EBD Official: Daddy wag ka ngang ganyan! Sige pag di ka tumigil, mawawalan kang dialysis machine at magkakatutoo yung malapit ka nang mamatay!

BadingDimacuha: 

@MsRDimacuha: Eh teka, bakit ba December 8 ang pagconcede ni EBD? Bakit di pa ngayon?

MsRDimacuha:
@BadingDimacuha:  Syempre, holy day ang December 8, birthday ni Mama Mary, gusto naming palabasin na busilak at puro ang kaloonban ni Mommy!  Mommy? Mommy? Bakit nag-offline ka na naman?  Grabe, dapat na syang turuan kung ano ang pipindutin sa twitter, mukhang nagkamali na naman! Mommyyy you’re soooo tanga talaga kahit kelan!! #hates mom na boba

EBD_Official:

@MsRDimacuha: Wag kang ganyan sa mommy mo ha! Kahit boba yan, mommy mo pa rin yan!

BadingDimacuha: 

@MsRDimacuha: Ahahay! I really love this laglagan blues nyo sa twitter!  Sya ng pala, bakit di pa join sa atin si Marvey, eh online din naman sya?

MarveyMarino:   Excuse me!  Mas okay kaya ang magbilang ng perang galing sa Grand Terminal kesa naman makibangayan sa mga issues nyo?  Mas kelangan ko ng pera ngayon! #mukhang pera forever

The Real Kikay!!!

Ang hula ni Stargazer:" Magpakatotoo ka na, kasi bistado
ka na ng madlang pipol dahil sa dami ng papah mo!"

The latest leaks from the city hall is about Dr. Jun Berberabe and his emotionally battered wife.  Emotional battery ito, hindi physical!
Kasi pag nadiskubre mong bakla ang husband mo, you just suffer in silence and pray that the people won't discover.
I still remember in 2009 when Dr Jun Berberabe arrived at Batangas City with a reputation as a good doctor and philantrophist. Everybody thought that his wife was very lucky to have him. With a house in Malarayat Lipa (Yes, he lives in Lipa, not Batangas City), and a good medical career, and a new baby. 
Nang bininyagan nga yung baby nila, Dr. Jun Berberabe got 75 ninongs from all the political families of Batangas. Magaling na yung well-connected 'ika nga.
But during the 2010 elections, many people have noticed that Dr. Jun Berberabe have one thing in common with councillors Serge Atienza Jr., Dexter Buted, and Dio Ferriols:  Like the three gays, he also powder his face and look in the mirror many times before he got out of the car to meet people and campaign.
Gets nyo na?  Kadugo ko rin sya: berdeng dugo! Vaklaaaahhh!
The latest buzz now is that Dr. Jun Berberabe is having an affair with his one and only candidate for councillor Doy Arrieta.  I personally don't believe this until one common friend told me it's true.
But what I really know is that Dr. Jun Berberabe is sooo infatuated with a cute guy from Brg. Sto. Niño, and another cutie na anak ng foreigner who lives in Sitio Papayahan, also from Sto. Niño.  At madalas dumadalaw dun sa mga boylet! As in patay na patay sa mga pogi!!!
Yan kasi ang hirap ngayon, kasi kumakandidato si Dr. Jun Berberabe for vice mayor of Batangas City eh di naman bukal sa loob kasi pinilit lang ng mga uncle nyang sina B1 at B2.  At nagpapagamit lang ay ex mayor Eddie Dimacuha, para mabasag ang boto.  Nakakatawa nga sila, kasi ang vice mayoral candidate ni EBD na si Eloisa Portugal ay tinapatan nya rin ng isang Berberabe.  Para ilaban kay Bart Blanco. Talagang napapaghalata.
With Eloisa, iboboto kaya ng mga tao ang katulad nyang galing sa balimbing family at mataray pa?
This makes me wonder about Dr. Jun Berberabe's motto:  "Makatao, makadyos, at pusong batangenyo."  Eto ang version namin dyan: "Maka-boys, Maka-pogi, at pusong bakla!!!
 Another candidate for vice mayor na pinagtutulungan nina Eloisa at Dr. Jun ay si Bart Blanco na balita namang barako at babaero.
Sinong pipiliin ng mga tao for vice mayor? Yung Balimbing na mataray? Baklang closet queen? O barakong babaero?
At least yung barakong babaero hindi balimbing, at lalong hindi closet queen!
Ang say ko lang kay Dr. Jun Berberabe:  WELCOME TO THE CLUB! GIMIK NAMAN TAYO SA GAY BAR MINSAN OH?

Obvious Motive

Hula ni Stargazer: "Wag mag-expect ng loyalty sa taong
di mo sinuswelduhan at baka lumipat sa kalaban
Di na uso ngayon ang volunteer na walang bayad!!!"

 

In Batangas City, Politics is always synonimous to violence.
Two days ago, Dr. Jun Berberabe's election leader known in Batangas city as "Butot" was attacked by armed men inside his house and was shot with intent to kill.
Butot, who has a string of estafa and fraud cases at the Batangas Regional Trial Court, was formerly Batangas city councilor Eloisa de Loyola-Portugal's an election worker.  Before working for Eloisa, he also worked as campaign worker for former Batangas City vice mayor Wawing Chavez.
The word here at the city hall was Eloisa was sooooo mad at Butot for leaving her in favor of Dr. Jun Berberabe.
The leaks inside the city hall says Butot decided to work for Dr. Jun Berberabe as his election campaign leader because Eloisa hasn't been paying him enough.
One week after he transfered allegiance to Dr. Jun Berberabe, armed men attacked him in his house and shot him, and left him for dead.  Luckily, Butot was rushed in time to the hospital and survived the attack.
I wonder why the media didn't report on this?  Word has it that the incident wasn't even reported in the police station.  Bakit kaya?
 But when Butot was okay at the Batangas Regional Hospital, and was guarded by cops from Batangas City, he started accusing Balagtas Barangay Captain Bart Blanco as the one who ordered his death. ?????????????
Hellooo???? What's the motive??????? What's the connection?????????
It was Eloisa who got mad at him for leaving her in the first place.  I remember Eloisa's motto in her tarpaulines:  "Galling sa pamilyang may dangal at may puso."  Let me correct that:  Dapat "Galing sa pamilyang hangal at balimbing!"
Kung di ba naman hangal eh bakit gagawa ng krimen na obvious na sya ang may motibo?  At Balimbing dahil noong unang panahon ay isinusumpa na nya at ng pamilya nya ang mga Dimacuha, calling them names like magnanakaw, mandaraya, imoral and many more bad words.  Tapos dahil sa pera ay biglang kampi sa mga Dimacuha! Hay naku ang balimbing nga naman!!!
This early in the political arena of Batangas City, they already know who's rating and who's not.  And the one with the highest rating is always their target.  Kahit pa magmukha silang tanga.

KALABOSO SINA MAYORA AT BAKLA!

Sa Wakas!!!  Nagfile na ng demandang graft and corruption sina Vice Mayor Joe Tolentino laban kina Batangas city Mayora Vilma Abaya- Dimacuha at executive secretary na anak nitong si RD Dimacuha ukol sa maanomalyang “discount” ng KIELCO power plant na P9.9 BILLION (as in billion pesos ha!)  na pinayagan at pinagpilitan ng mag-inag Dimacuha na P990 million lang ang ibabayad sa Batangas City.

Kasamang nagfile ni Vice Mayor ang mga konsehal na lumaban sa desisyong ito ng mayora at anak na bakla.  Kalaboso na ngayon si mayora at RD, pati na rin ang mga konsehal na pumayag sa maanomalyang deal.

Aba nga naman! Saan ka ga nga naman nakakita ng discount sa business tax na 90% percent discount?   Sa tanang buhay ko, isama na pati nung lalaki pa ko at naging bading, ngayon lang ako nakarinig ng 90 percent na discount! 

Sa total na P9.9 Billion, pinag-abogadohan pa ni RD at pinilit na dapat ay P990 million o 10 % lang ang babayaran ng KIELCO sa Batangas City.  Sobra namang talo ang mamamayan dyan sa padaleng yan ni RD!

At kwidaw!  Pinagmamalaki pa ni RD na kaklase daw nya sa law school ang abogado ng KEILCO kaya naayos ang bayaran.

Ang balita dine sa city hall ay tumanggap din si RD at ang “klasmeyt” ng di hihigit sa P50 million mula sa maanomalyang cash-sunduan, kaya sila lang ang masaya!

Ano ba yan RD? Ang laki na ng kinikita nyo ni Konsehal Marvey Marino, your bayaw (bayawak) sa Grand Terminal, pati ba naman perang dapat ay sa taumbayan ay kinuha mo pa? Kaya ka siguro pataba ng pataba, kasi sobra kang masiba!

 

Pero short lived din ang saya nila kasi bistado na sila ngayon at may demanda pa.  Pag ganitong demanda, maaaring ma-suspend sila pending investigation at pag nahuling guilty nga eh, super bye-bye na tayo sa 24 year old political dynasty.

At kahit pa si Ex-mayor Eddie B. Dimacuha ang patakbuhin for mayor, kahit kita naman ng lahat na hagya nang makalakad at di  na makatagal sa aircon, eh wala pa ring maaawa dahil sa laki ng perang nawala sa taumbayan sa ginawang kalokohan ng kanyang mag-ina!

 Ang masakit pa dito, bakit yung mga tindera sa palengke, pag di nakabayad ng halagang P15,000 na fee sa pwesto ay automatic sarado ang tindahan samantalang itong KIELCO ay pinatawad ang buwis na halagang P8.91 Billion?  

Yang political dynasty na yan, magaling lang mang-api ng maliliit na negosyante, pag malalaki na kumpanya ang may bilyon-bilyong utang ay pinag-aabogaduhan pa at dinidipensa.

Sana naman ay magising na ang mga taga-Batangas city at burahin na ang political dynasty na matagal nang nagpapahirap sa mga tao.

Imagine, P8.91 Billion ang nawalang pera sa kaban ng bayan! At yun ay padiscount ng mga Dimacuha sa KIELCO!  

Sa demandang ito nina vice mayor, siguradong ang mga Dimacuha ang punong kalaboso!

Political Dynasty Productions Shamessly Presents!!!

END THE 24-YEAR POLITICAL DYNASTY IN BATANGAS CITY!!!

Rapist on the loose, thanks to police chief

Batangas City’s Police Chief,  Col. Nicolas Torre is now in hot water! Naku baka lalong mangitim!

This is after the Batangas City Social Welfare and Development Office complained against Torre who released a rape suspect.

This happened last week.  A girl, a minor from Batangas city was raped and the police arrested the suspect. When the suspect was in police custody, it turned out that he was a friend of a cop there who was “malakas” to Co. Torre.

Kaya ayun, the cop requested Col. Torre to release the rape suspect in exchange of a “paldong-paldong” envelope with money and promises of more friendships to come.

According to witnesses of the exchange and  “pakiusapan”  Col. Torre, upon looking at the thick wad of bills inside the envelope, didn’t think twice, and ordered the release of the rape suspect.

Ganito talaga sa Batangas, pag narape ka ng sex maniac na malakas sa pulis, wag ka ng aasa pa ng hustisya!

And so, Col. Torre released the rape suspect, who immediately  ran away from Batangas, and up to now, is still missing, and the police couldn’t find him.

Meanwhile, Co. Torre kept the money and didn’t even share it with the other police who were there in the negotiation. 

Switik ano?

When Mila Espanola from the city’s welfare office, who was protecting the victim discovered that the rape suspect is gone, she got soooooo mad and immediately filed a complain against Col. Torre.

Col. Torre then asked for the help of former Batangas  City Mayor Eddie B. Dimacuha to pacify Mila Espanola and he even had the guts to ask EBD to make Mila Espanola shut up.

To this, EBD said no. (Teka, di ba may nagrereklamo din ng rape kay EBD????)

 Apparently, Mila got to him first, and complained against Col. Torre.

Looking for kakampi, Col. Torre, who is a self-proclaimed high priest in the Iglesia ni Cristo, even sought help of the real high priests in INC.  

Buti na lang, INC abhors rapists and liars, so they rejected Col. Torre’s request for help.

Now in the hot water, we think that Col. Torre’s dark skin will even get darker with this latest buzz inside the city hall.

According to EBD kasi, palilipasin lang daw ang Batangas City Day at TSUGI NA SI COL. NICK “BOY NEGRO” Torre!

Finally!!!